Fireside Chat Episode 2

The following is a continuation of a previous conversation that Brendan McGoldrick, local Sneaker Factory employee, teacher, and coach, had with Dr. Love. The comments and views of the following transcripted conversation simply represent those in the conversation, who are a couple of truly whacky and bizarre characters.

BM: So Dr. Love, the people really want to know when they will get a chance to meet and greet you. When will you make yourself available to the general public?

Dr. L- Well, Brendan, what people need to understand is that I wear many hats- not just my running hats either, I mean figurative hats. Lately, I have been mentoring a few Factorians, namely Padraig and Ben “C’mon Seabiscuit” Massum. It takes up a lot of time, more so with Ben Massum than with Padraig…

BM: If I could interrupt you there for a moment- why so much more time with Ben than Padraig?

Dr. L- Well, it’s not a matter of either of them needing more attention, or needing less. What it boils down to is the fact that “C’mon Seabiscuit” just loves to yell about horses- his first love and his first phobia were both horses. Did you know that C’mon Seabiscuit once spent a five day race track soda induced catatonic state at the Belmont Stakes? He literally could not keep his eyes off the track! And by doing his due diligence, he wound up making a clean sweep betting on the ponies, walking away with 300 MILLION DOLLARS?! That to me is terribly interesting, so I give him an extra half hour a week of mentoring sessions.

BM: And what about Padraig? Don’t you believe in no Factorian left behind?

Dr. L- Of course I do, and I would challenge anyone in the world to a formal debate who tried to suggest otherwise. Padraig is an absolute joy to talk with. Few know as much as he does about shoes, and let me tell you what, if you watch that pony ride a bike you will think to yourself “WOW. I am astonished. This is just wonderful.” He is a truly gifted individual, to say the least.

BM: Wow, so you really are busy coming up with awkward ways of saying things… This still begs the question, when will we see you man?

Dr. L- Dr. Love is working on that. Ya see, he recently spent the night at the Long Branch store for the Brooks Cavalcade of Curiosities and the booming after-party. He was actually considered the headliner of the entertainment that night after Brooks rep, John Williams aka Fast Johnny NYC (NYC meaning Nice Young Child) had to back out due to a last minute bloody nose. This event took a lot out of Dr. Love, and he is recovering accordingly.

Dr. Love is interested in hopping into the Red Bank Fall Classic Triathlon to see if he can survive, and to train for the following weeks half marathon in Seaside Heights. It is tough to say how things will go as Dr. Love is hopped up on some pretty serious pain medication for a recent tooth attack. As it turns out, that pesky Liger that Not-So-Mean-Dean Shonts took care of had a cousin in town, and that liger was not pleased with what happened. This young liger without a cause took out his frustrations on Dr. Love’s molar, and now he needs a root canal. The medication keeps away some of the pain, but the emotional hurt Dr. love experienced from this Liger runs deep.

BM- I’m sorry to hear that- do you think that Not-So-Mean Dean will be able to take care of this Liger problem?

Dr. Love: Without a doubt. We have preliminary reports saying that he has tracked the beast to a small section of Ocean known as Wannamassa, and should have him captured within the next 36 hours. It is a lengthy process, but it’s a labor of love for Dean. Anything to keep his wife Betty and his Sneaker Factory family safe and out of harm’s way.

BM: Well I sure am glad that Dean is on the case. Do you think you will be ready to compete any time soon?

Dr. Love- Compete? I can’t say for sure. I don’t want to build up false hope in the minds of the proletariat class, but I am trying for them and for everyone out there.

The transcript beyond this point seems to be blurry, and has been taken to a handwriting expert to try to examine the meaning of the chicken scratch that was taken down. The process is not unlike the Rosetta Stone, so it could take some time to unlock the mystery, still more to come! In the meantime, feel free to leave your own questions for Dr. Love!

Posted on September 28, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I want to let you know I have tracked down the Liger and he is history and thank you “C’Mon Seabiscuit” for the confidence you have showed in me.

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