He’s Done It Again
Guttentag Sneaker Factorians! As many of you are well aware by now, our humble state has been threatened by yet ANOTHER hurricane, this time the name is Katia. Now at first, I thought this was some sort of crazy scare tactic by the Canadians to remind America that Canada is still there, but as it turns out, neither the Canadians nor the Americans have that kind of technology to do that.
Anyways, as it turns out this Katia was a pretty mean one, getting all the way up to Category 4, a whole category higher than our old friend Irene ever matured to, and even stronger than the distant cousin Lee was down in the Gulf. On the way into school this morning, I heard a report that ol’ Katia was getting weak in her old age, and was burning out all the way down to Category 1. Category 1? Ha! That’s barely even a storm here in Jersey now that we are used to Irene. What the radio happened to forget though, was to mention the whereabouts of Not-So-Mean-Dean Shonts while this storm was downgrading left and right!
We here at Sneaker Factory have it on good authority that after hearing the news of an impending storm, Not-So-Mean-Dean took his brand new knee and ravaged this storm. Fresh off his title bout with the Belmar Liger(Author’s Note: the Belmar Liger is not the name of an Irish underground boxing champ, but it is in fact a liger which previously resided in Belmar), and riding high off saving the world from even more damage from little Irene- Dean decided that in this post-Liger world it would be his responsibility to makes sure that there are no more hurricanes against our shores. It certainly was not an easy task he charged himself with, however he saw it as his job and his job alone.
After telling his loving wife Betty that he loved her, Dean ran off onto the beach to meet this hefty storm. After he snuck up on the eye of the storm, he proceeded to run circles around the swirling winds of this so-called mighty storm. Katia fought back by throwing a beluga whale at our undaunted hero, but he could not be put down, not that easily. Dean ducked the beluga and continued to run the hurricane farther and farther into the ground. An impressive thing to have been able to see. It took him all of 67 minutes to tame the mighty beast, but he did- by golly he did it! And when Allan Caspar on the radio heard of the great triumph he immediately wanted to let the masses know that the storm had been downgraded. Unfortunately, once again for our mighty hero, in his haste, Mr. Caspar forgot to give Dean the credit which is due unto him. Was it an honest and forgivable mistake? Without question, yes. Does it stink that Dean was not given credit? No- because Dean is satisfied knowing that he has a place to quietly come Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays and educate and assist Sneaker Factorians looking for proper fitting running shoes.
So next time you stop by Sneaker Factory Long Branch, make sure to say thanks again to a true, blue American hero- Senor Not-So-Mean-Dean Shonts!
Adios, Factorians, and be glad that Dean was here to save us all!